Bedtime Stories

If you are easily spooked or somebody with a sensitive disposition, then I suggest you click the X in the top right corner of the page and switch Coronation Street on. I am going to share two short but true stories with you from the last week of my life, and I cannot be responsible for how you will feel while reading them. Remember, the blog is called Random Writing.

It was a warm but grey Thursday evening in Lausanne. Bobby had finished work for the day and headed home slightly earlier than usual. That night, Mexico were playing the French in the 2010 World Cup and Bobby had invited a couple of friends round to watch the game and have a cheeky Indian curry. It was one of his favourite meals, so combined with some good football and some good company, it made for an excellent night’s entertainment.

And so it proved.

The football was excellent as Mexico beat the French much to the delight of the viewers in that apartment. The food was pretty good even if Bobby thought it was slightly below usual standards. And the company was pretty solid as always with plenty of laughs to boot.

The evening came to a close as Bobby and Banana washed up and finished the laundry. They had a wash, brushed their teeth and tucked each other into bed. It was a late night for them as thirty minutes divided them and the next day. They had a little chat and giggle, before turning the lights off and settling down to sleep.

No more than five minutes, ten at the maximum, had passed before the shutters outside their bedroom window starting rattling. Bobby’s initial thought was that the wind had disturbed them, Banana’s first thought was that somebody was rattling them. It was not the first time and would surely not be the last that Banana was right.

The noise became louder as a silhouette emerged behind the shutters as they were starting to be raised. It was difficult to see a great deal, neither Bobby nor Banana were blessed with particularly good night vision despite both their mothers insisting that carrots were the way forward when they were younger. However, the light shining behind the window from the office across the yard highlighted the figure standing on the window ledge attempting to raise the shutters.

Banana whispered to Bobby that she thought somebody was there as she snuggled up to Bobby. He was sure there was at this point as he had a sudden flashback to a previous time that something similar happened while he was at university. In a similar situation, Bobby was sleeping with his window open and curtains closed as two visitors approached his window. That moment provided him with the perfect experience to deal with this situation as he produced exactly the same excruciatingly loud cough which he produced on that night in late 1998, to surprise the intruders who promptly scampered.

The intruder on this occasion was fortunate to say the very least that he escaped at just the right time. Bobby had found his glasses, grabbed the baseball bat, but was wearing his usual sleeping attire which amounted to nothing. It was a fearsome sight, but the cough proved enough of a deterrent on this occasion as Bobby and Banana slept happily ever after.....with one eye open and a baseball bat under the bed.

The End


The Beginning

Bobby and Banana were off on their travels once again as they had yet another wedding to attend in London this time. It was a good old uni friend of Bobby’s who was getting married to a lovely girl. What made this wedding and trip to London particularly special was that Bobby was also the matchmaker. On a night out in 2006, call it a mini reunion between the four uni boys and a handful of others, they hit Soho for a night out. At the very end of the evening, Bobby started randomly talking to two girls and suggested to his friend that he should buy them a drink. Bobby even handed his friend the cash to buy the drinks, even if this seems to have slipped his friend’s mind. One thing led to another and Bobby’s friend obtained the phone number of one of the ladies. A beautiful relationship progressed from there and culminated in a fantastic wedding in London on Monday.

They were blessed. The venue was amazing. Set in Kent at a country castle, the barn was a fantastic setting and the weather played its part furthermore to add some sun to a beautiful day.

It had been an early start for Bobby and Banana. They woke up at 5.45am, took a taxi to Heathrow airport where they collected a hire car and drove to Kent. Banana looked as beautiful as ever in a fabulous black dress, and Bobby was suited and booted in a grey pin-striped suit and blight blue shirt. There are some days when both of them knew they were not at their best, but this particular day, they scrubbed up reasonably well.

The service went well, followed by an excellent meal, and then some drinks in the garden in the sun. It was a great opportunity for Bobby and Banana to catch up with another old uni mate and his partner, and the conversation was flowing. Bobby suggested that the quartet take a seat on the garden chairs as the sun began to set. As the chat continued to flow, Bobby felt a drop of water on his hand, but thought nothing more of it other than a drop of rain that must have lingered on a branch above. Shortly after, another drop landed on his back. He twisted his arm around his back to investigate only to find a large brown substance on his hand. A bird had flown overhead and decided to relieve himself on the back of Bobby’s shirt.

This was not just any poop however. This was a major poop. This bird had seemingly had a curry the night before, and had clearly identified Bobby as the perfect individual to share his joys. Banana scrubbed Bobby’s shirt with a tissue, and Bobby put his suit jacket back on as shortly after, they bid their farewells and rode off in the sunset.

Another End