The Trust Factor

If you have not heard about some chap called Lance in the last 24 hours in some shape or form, then it would be worth visiting an opticians or getting a hearing test. If you don’t want to hear anything about a chap called Lance, then I’ll understand if you press the X button in the top right corner of this page.

If you haven't seen the Lance Armstrong interview, I would suggest watching it. My good lady and I woke at 6am this morning to watch it before work, and it was captivating stuff.

My initial thoughts on the show and him:

Would have loved to have seen Jeremy Paxman or somebody like that interview. David Frost perhaps. Oprah does what Oprah does, but she let him avoid answering questions way too much. It would also have been interesting/better had it remained a yes or no interview the whole way through.

Let's see just how long he keeps his stance of not wanting to implicate others or dish the dirt. Naturally, it is way too late for that, but there are a lot of people who must be petrified right now and rightly so. Maintaining this stance of denial for so long, and being allowed to get away with it, means that some folks at the highest level of sport, possibly law enforcement and government, have let this go.

Interesting position he took on the level of doping at the time. By playing down the level of sophistication as having access to the same as everybody else, and by implying that most cyclists were doing it so it was ‘a level playing field’, he is maintaining his stance and arrogance that he was the best regardless.

I have no idea if he will serve a prison sentence, though I did read that there are statutes of limitation on how he cannot be punished given the timeframes involved – 5 or 8 years depending on what you read. Even so, whatever he has to go through, and there will surely be some suffering, he will come out of this just fine. He'll turn it around, and use it to his advantage somehow whether it is via the media, or giving back to the sport and rebuilding his character somehow.

This article (http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/8852974/lance-armstrong-history-lying) got me randomly thinking about trust. The author trusted Lance. A lot of people did. It is the same in every-day life when people do things they promise not to, or lie, or whatever it may be. Some of the people I have a great deal of admiration and care for have that level of trust – they see the good in people from the outset and trust until that trust is broken. I can only think it is a positive thing that those kind natured people exist in this world. Some would call it naivety. Others have scepticism and a lack of trust until it is earned.

I remember waking up to watch the 1988 Olympics and seeing the scandal of Ben Johnson failing the drugs test. I could not and did not want to believe it. Little Bobby scampered upstairs at some ungodly hour and woke mum and dad up with the news. I could not believe it.

Having worked in sport and betting, and having grown up, I can't paint the happy picture that so many want to believe is true. That the athletes we idolise don't cheat, don't take drugs, don't take payments for losing games. It is more rife than any of us can imagine. A sad reality and not one that anybody can take pleasure from as it threatens to ruin the sports we love and why we love them.

All that this Lance episode will achieve is adding that degree of scepticism in the minds of many. How many others on sport are doping? When you see some of the outstanding performances at a World Cup or an Olympics, how many of those are cheating and it is just not detected?

This whole episode is similar to the Jimmy Savile case. Stick with me on this, I appreciate the comparison is a little random but I’m banking on the fact that Lance 1. doesn’t read my blog and 2. that he won’t be suing anybody else for a while. Perhaps not quite so horrendous as Savile I'll give you that, but another example of how somebody can somehow live a life of such deceit, denial and dishonour, and fool their way through. At least Lance will suffer the consequences, Savile was lucky he died and then it came out. How these lies can be covered up is totally beyond me and it is concerning.

I guess they are covered up because there are people out there who are at fault for allowing it to happen. Unfortunately, it is our trust in people that allows us to be suckered in by people like this. The dreams are nice, but there has always been and always will be, folks like this willing to benefit and profit from building that mythical dream based on lies and deceit.

I think most of us build trust in one of two ways. We either approach everything with scepticism and let people build and earn trust. Or we begin with a level of trust already, and then let it erode or strengthen as the relationships builds. Unfortunately the latter leaves us open to being disappointed, let down and betrayed by events like this. The former is not necessarily the best to approach things, and it arguably may lead to us not building relationships for fear of that betrayal, but it is the defence mechanism inside us which protects us. The best approach is surely to be as open minded as possible, but I fear our tendency is to lean in one of the two directions I mentioned.

With Lance, just as with Jimmy, folks have been suckered in to wanting to believe it was not true, despite all the evidence, and the rumours, suggesting otherwise. I fell for it when I was a young pup with Ben Johnson. I’m not suggesting that treating everything with cynicism is the best route forward. Just as it helps to find the positive in a bad situation, keeping it in mind that idols and dreams may well possess flaws, can do no harm. It may reduce expectations but it decreases the disappointment.

Happy New One

All good things come to an end. It’s a common phrase but a little misguided. All bad things come to an end also. Whether 2012 was amazing, miserable, or average, it is officially over I can confirm. 2013 has arrived and roll on the good times, lottery wins, fabulous holidays, new jobs etc.

Most of us see the turn of the year as a turning point. Something that may signify a change in fortunes, a chance to do things differently. It is complete garbage of course. January 1^st is just another day and it is purely a psychological trigger for us to act. Why not start the exercise in October? Why not decide to start saving money in the Spring?

I fall into the very same trap myself. I frequently commit to resolutions because it is the done thing. This year I shall be embarking on another weight loss campaign as of midnight last night, and that will involve cutting the alcohol out. I’ve had an incredibly boozy and fun-filled last six months. I’ve soaked up the Euros, the Olympics, the cheeky trips here and there, along with the gatherings with friends and family. I’ve had a blast and I’ve been a little naughty…but that has to change. 2013 my friends, is the year of the ‘Fat Bloke running a Marathon’. 2014 is a ‘belly-free’ zone.

I love the thought of the challenge of running a marathon. Do I like running? Not particularly. I prefer running with a ball in the vicinity. There is no real reason why this could not have been done before, but it is an opportunity to seize the moment and dedicate myself to a challenge. A slap on my own wrists for falling into the resolution trap, but it doesn’t really matter as long as I accomplish what I set out to achieve.

As much as anything I think resolutions are important for us to think of a brighter and positive future. Whether the previous year has been good or bad, we’re looking for ways to improve ourselves and our lives. The only downside to that is that if the resolution fails, and our high hopes for the year is not matched, then we view it as a poor unsuccessful year. Maybe running a marathon is unrealistic for me, maybe abstaining from the foods and drinks that I love are also. But as with anything, as long as you’ve given it your best shot, then there is nothing to feel ashamed about.

2012 will stick in my mind for a long time though I am not sure how to rate it. Ups and downs are inevitable over 365 days. Good health is underrated and something we take for granted until something bad happens. The same goes with love, family and friendship. 2012 has served as a reminder of that for me.

Unquestionably my most enjoyable year from a sporting perspective. I think most will agree that it has been a special one.  I have also visited a number of new countries and cities. Don’t ask me whether I will go back to all of them, but new places, new adventures is always fun. Professionally I could have been better. Onside Analysis is ticking along nicely but I’m always aware of my performance. When I’m good, I’ll pat myself on the back. When I’m not good enough, I beat myself up. Averageness is overrated and raising my game is my main focus in 2013. Personally, there are always improvements I can make, perhaps too many to deal with in one year and I am aware of those too!

I have never been one for New Year’s Eve and celebrating it big style. I think it is a little overrated personally. When I was younger I always preferred to work and earn double money rather than go out and pay double money. It is the same principle as resolutions, why do what you can do any time, but pay double? Bah humbug, I know. It is an opportunity…a time, however for everybody to reassess and re-evaluate. It serves a purpose, even if resolutions are frivolous and broken within days or weeks. I see it as another opportunity to test and improve myself.

So the question is, how are you going to improve yourself?

Here’s to 2013!

The Hard Way To Know You're Still Alive

They say bad luck comes in threes. Hardly a pleasant proverb to think about when two bad things happen to you. It's complete rubbish of course. It is only when three bad things happen that it springs to your mind

A month or so ago I was chewing on a legendary liquorice torpedo and snap, Bobby's tooth and filling disintegrates. A couple of weeks later, my mother-in-law's tooth gave way. That's a long old journey just to get a darn tooth fixed. Then a week after that, my mum's tooth broke. Not a popular trend and I'll take the blame for it.

Unfortunately this theory becomes cyclical. Mum and Dad's boiler broke down, the printer ran out of ink, and mum's tooth broke. Three bits of bad luck, and the best part of a grand gone in a flash. A harsh few days, but it happens.

Breaking my tooth got me randomly thinking about the worst pain I have been through. I tend to look back on those moments fondly, strangely enough. If you can overcome severe pain, hardships, I think it stands you in good stead for what may lay ahead. That's not to say I encourage and embrace it, but it prepares you.

When I was a kid, I had a tooth abscess. That was as painful as they come. Toothache is miserable, wisdom teeth issues are not pleasant, and I've had them all. The abscess was a different ball game however. Having a needle pushed through your tooth twice a week for a couple of weeks, when you're 12 years old, was not my idea of fun in my prepubescent era.

Another fairly miserable one was these mysterious stomach seizures I had as a kid. Frequently over a period of six months, I was in agony and curled up in a ball screaming. Had various checks and tests at the doctors and turned out I was massively constipated. No kid in their right mind wanted to go to the toilet at my school and risk being pelted with soggy tissues and so on, so I just avoided it. Needless to say, the doc said I was full of shit and there was only one remedy for that!

Then a stack load of other injuries playing football, getting up to mischief, drunken mishaps. All of which lead to dislocations, sprains, cuts and breaks. Looking down at half of your finger pointing upwards is slightly surreal. Cracking it back in place then driving an hour to the hospital is even more so. But you take a deep breath, suck it up, and do what you have to do.

As everybody’s (for ‘everybody’s’ read ‘my’) favourite lyricist says: ‘Feeling pain’s a hard way to know you’re still alive.’ I could not have put it any better Barry. However, when he sung those magical words, he was referring to a psychological pain rather than the brutal nature of physical. I think both of those are true and I was reminded of it only a week last Thursday.

An early morning start at my laptop and a strong coffee was going well until my trusty old laptop decided to pack up and apparently go to laptop heaven. He suffered the physical pain I guess, but it was me that had to redo the work lost from that morning. I gave him the equivalent of laptop mouth-to-mouth and he has survived, but he is heading to the Knackers’ Yard.

Next up was our Swisscom box – our satellite box. He also decided to pack up and there was no saving this one. A tragic loss, but he lived a good and extremely full life recording football match after football match with the occasional Gossip Girl in between.

Two fairly painful pieces of bad luck in the same day, and those which border more on inconvenience and the hassle that goes with it, so I would bracket them in the psychological category. I should really have known what was coming when I played football that night when a beautiful driven shot connected with the post….the non-footballing type of post – if you catch my drift.

There is nothing worse than that sickening feeling in your stomach –not the needle through the tooth, not the stomach pains, nor the dislocation. Popping babies out doesn’t even come close I am certain as any man will testify. I have actually carried out a survey as to the extent of human pain. My Research said that pregnancy came in 3rd worst in the list of most painful ills, Man Flu came in 2nd, and a swift kick in the nuts topped the list. It must therefore be true.

They are all tests and they challenge us physically and mentally. Whether it is the broken tooth, losing the work on your laptop, or the boiler breaking down. Adversity and pain is a hard way to know we’re still alive, but it strengthens our resolve. It’s all about the bouncebackability and coping and surviving. Just consider it a reminder that whatever the pain, you are actually still alive.

The Balance

A wise man once told me to always look after number one. He said you could and should not rely on others necessarily to help you out and in turn, you should make sure you look after yourself first, and others second.

A wise woman has shown me that it is not all about me. There's a bigger picture, and acts of selflessness are more rewarding than the acts of selfishness. The world is a better place when people think of others. The wise man also shows me that even if he says the opposite.

You may be right in thinking this blog should be renamed 'Mixed & Confused Random Writing'. The two principles contradict each other directly and these types of contradictions are the hardest ones to resolve and work out in your own head and your actions. There is no clear right and wrong. It is not a question of should I break into somebody's house or not. It is not a case of should I spend my last 50 quid on that shirt rather than pay my rent or feed my kids. There's no right or wrong with this one.

You'll see acts of selfishness and selflessness all the time. I often feel like it has become fashionable to hate rather than to love….or at least some people find it easier to hate than to love. You'll despise the selfishness and you will likely appreciate the selflessness, particularly if you're on the receiving end. It is easier to recognise the selfishness, that's for sure. Whether they are gestures for the greater good of mankind or putting a smile on a certain someone's face, generosity and kindness goes a long way.

That all said, the wise man is right. There are times, plenty of times, throughout our lives when we have to look after ourselves. It may sound sad, cruel and ruthless, but it is true. There are many occasions when if you don't look after yourself, nobody else will.

It is all about finding the right balance. It’s that balance between having fun and being responsible. It is that balance between being confident but not being arrogant. It is that balance between giving good advice, and taking your own advice. It is that balance between working hard and playing hard. It is that balance between being giving time to others and taking time for yourself. It is that balance between doing the things you want to do, and the things you have to do.

I could go on. There are a million feelings and issues to balance and weigh up every day of our lives. Read a fitness magazine and it will tell you the best way to lose weight is by shorter interval training. Turn the page and it will tell you long distance running is the best way. I keep turning the pages searching for the ‘eating burgers will enhance your stamina’ advice, but I’ve yet to find that one. Read medical reports and research that say eating a certain food can reduce the risk of some deadly disease. The next report will say that very same food can increase your cholesterol.

I’m not sure I have found the balance with some aspects. I aim for it in some areas, I avoid it in others, especially the ones I enjoy! I’m not into living by great extremes, and maintaining a degree of balance and consistency is important to me. There is no right or wrong to so many of the contradictions. I guess that is what makes life interesting. If everybody was balanced and consistent, we sure would live boring lives. It is ok to be selfish at times. It just needs balancing with a large dose of selflessness at other times. I’ll continue to pay attention to the wise man and the wise lady that have guided me this far.

The Perfect Combination

We all love to give or have an opinion on things. We love to rank and rate things. We love to compare and contrast. I love all those things. I also love to travel. I also love to watch sports. All this loving combined leads me to one thing – a ranking of my favourite places to watch sport from all the places I have travelled. We’re not talking venues or stadiums, we’re talking top five sports bars baby!

1.       Lagasse’s Stadium – Las Vegas

This is the sports bar of all sports bars and I have been here just a couple of times. The bar is shaped and designed like a stadium, and has a stack load of ridiculously comfortably sofas and couches to watch any of the 20 big screens on the far wall. Words cannot describe this one I’m afraid until you go on a Sunday afternoon and watch NFL there. Book in advance, that’s all I will say, but it is well worth it.

2.       Real Sports Bar & Grill – Toronto

The reason I am writing this blog is because I am in Toronto this week and there’s only one place my buttocks will be perching throughout the day on Saturday! This place is insanely large, has the filthy North American menu that we all dream about (but the obesity nightmare promptly follows), and a huge range of beers. There is literally a television screen everywhere you look – it is just tough to watch them all!

3.       ESPN Sports Bar – Now defunct but was in NYC and LV

Another dream venue for any sports/beer/food fan with screens coming out of your ears and plenty of beer on tap. I have to admit however, the winner for this place was unquestionably the spicy BBQ sauce that came with the chicken tenders – no better taste in the whole wide world. Actually, they sold it on in Vegas at New York New York hotel, but it is virtually the same and just branded differently.

4.       Hooters – Anywhere

Now I know what you are thinking. Rob, you’re a filthy pervert and I shall never look at you in the same light ever again. I’m looking at the screens I promise, just the screens. Oh, and the boneless chicken wings! Who would have thought that they could make boneless chicken wings! Sounds innocuous now I think about it, but aside from those, it is a great place and atmosphere to watch sports. Honest.

5.       Walkabout – Various

Now in some respects, I am not sure this one merits reaching this list – there is esteemed company. What I will say however, is that going to Walkabout to watch any England v Australia game in any sport is fabulous and highly recommended. I’m not saying it won’t be dirty, there may be a chav or two, and the carpets may be sticky, but you will occasionally find a good one somewhere across the UK and have an entertaining session. Ok, maybe I am clutching at straws here.

When I was 16, I worked in Wakefield. They opened a Sports Bar just around the corner from the restaurant that I worked at. As I started work at 5pm, that gave me an hour to watch football before starting work, so I frequented the bar every Saturday afternoon. It was a fantastic place and the kind of place that I dreamed could be exported into my cellar when I grew up and had my own place. Sadly, it did not take long to go downhill. It attracted the wrong crowd, and it eventually had chards of glass on the sticky carpet which promptly tells you to leave a bar as soon as you have entered. Sad but true. I love the concept of a sports bar, but I have yet to really stumble across a gem in the UK like I have in North America which is why the list comprises largely of North American establishments. That along with the fact that watching sport, drinking beer, and eating filthy North American food is great fun. If anybody knows of any awesome sports bars, anywhere in the world, I want to know please. Don’t be shy.

Patriot Games

I need to raise my game.  I enjoy blogging, but I am underperforming. I need to write more. This blog should have come four weeks ago, but better late than never right? I have to write a blog for Onside Analysis next week, so I’m writing a Random one to get back in the swing of things before I get my teeth stuck into that one.

Both my Uncle George and I vividly recall the battles and discussions we used to have when I was a small chap as I raved about how cool Germany and some of my exchange student friends were, and he recalled conflicts going way back to the 40s. We relished the battles then, and we laugh about them now. Maybe it was the respect for each other that we understood the way the other one felt, but neither of us backed down or gave ground.

There was nothing ever racist about those feelings, just the kind of feelings you would have if you had been involved in a war no doubt. The irony about it all, and a key part of my argument was that I loved spending time in Germany and with my German friends because we had so much in common. Similar sense of humour, a beer drinking culture, a passion for football, and in many respects, a pride about their nation......which lends itself to single-mindedness and stubbornness. All the ingredients to make a war, but to make a friend also. The Germans are far more like the English than many other nationalities. They are different, but they are similar. More so than many other countries close by.....read France, Spain, Italy etc.

My favourite national team when I was a child was Argentina. My hero in the playground was Diego Armando Maradona. Not the most popular team or player in England at that time, and not now. Diego was amazing to watch, it never mattered to me where he came from. 1990 was a slight shift in emphasis, but for some reason I admired the filthiness and ruthlessness that they employed right until the very end. The very definition of filth. It was more than England ever showed however in my eyes.

I have never been patriotic. The closest I have ever come to the word patriotic is supporting the New England Patriots. As a kid, I took a shine for Everton. Not Leeds where I am born and bred. Everybody else around me was a Leeds fan. I wanted something different. In cricket, I followed Hampshire because I adored the finesse and grace of David Gower, the brutality of Robin Smith and his awesome square cuts, and the bowling action of Malcolm Marshall. It was never Yorkshire.

The only tinges of patriotism I have had in recent years have come while I have been living abroad or living with foreigners in the UK while at Uni. People love to hammer England. I quite enjoy it myself, but it is a bit like me criticising my mother. It is fine if I do it, but god forbid anybody else to have a go! (Not that I would Mum, not that I would!)

I was super sceptical about the Olympics. That was more down to security and transport issues than anything else, but also because i have never been patriotic and I have never been taken by the Olympics. There are too many sports that just do not do it for me – in truth that is the same now. However, I have a new found appreciation for some sports. BMX being one, and Handball being another.

These two photos and moments did it for me. How could you not be taken by such an amazing spectacle? It was however the way in which virtually the whole country united around the Games that was a pleasure to watch. A pleasure regardless of whoever you are and where you come from, but unquestionably a sense of pride that it is your country that has put on this fantastic show. Regardless of where you come from, if you were sat in the Olympic Stadium watching Mo Farah win the 5k and 10k races, I defy anybody not to have had goose bumps. Watching the Jamaican 4x100m relay team was the same.

Maybe I am more patriotic than I would like to believe or show, maybe it just resides somewhere deep inside and it only comes out when it is pushed. Maybe having a father who cheers Brazil at the World Cup, Spain at the Euros, Man Utd in the Premier League, and whoever he has bet on in any other sport, has led to me being just as confused about my roots. The Olympic managed to bring everybody together. It felt a bit like one of our family parties actually. Everybody has their quirks, their differences, but never let that get in the way of a bloody good do. If you don’t like German people, then go to Oktoberfest in the next few weeks, and a bit like the Mo Farah moments, I defy anybody to come back with a negative experience. And if you don’t like me or my blog, then I invite you to a family BBQ next summer...there’s just something special about bringing people together and having a good time – regardless of where you’re from or what team you support.