To Be Wronged Is Nothing Unless You Continue To Remember It

Most people who know me will know that my glass is never half full, or at least not for very long. I do however lean towards being half full, or quarter full, rather than half empty or three quarters empty. I have the same feelings as most people, I am far from being anything different or special in that department. I get down sometimes, I can be a miserable bugger at times and rumour has it that my patience at random times can waver. What I try to do however is not dwell on things and move on, and usually, after a bit of sulking or a quiet spell, I snap out of it pretty quickly and the smile returns.

I have had a few conversations in recent weeks which have inspired me to write this blog. I was telling a story about how my girlfriend’s car was stolen on the last day of the first year of university when we were moving out. About 95% of everything I owned was in the car and we had just booked a holiday. Given that the car was stolen when I was in the shower, I didn’t have a clean pair of socks to my name, nor a change of clothes, and we had just booked an expensive holiday. I was heartbroken.

That was horrendous at the time, but far worse was when I lost my laptop/had it stolen last winter. More than possessions, losing photos, files, work, ideas, personal details and information is far worse.

When you are 31 years old, these things happen at some point in your life. Loved ones die, accidents happen, mistakes are made. Nobody takes any joy from these things, but after a period of sadness, upset and sometimes anger, there is a reflection period and then I try to look for positives. There may not be many, but in everything we do, you can always find a positive or an opportunity – something that can offer hope.

I am in Edinburgh today. We got up and headed to the train station to find that the first train was delayed for 21 minutes which would mean that we would miss the main connecting train to Edinburgh. There may have been a curse or two I admit – why can’t trains run in the UK like they do in Switzerland? After ten of the 21 minutes had lapsed, it had dawned on me that I had left the Bon Jovi tickets at home. A quick phone call to Uncle George, who zipped down the road to pick me up and we got the tickets and back to the station with two minutes to spare. If the train had not have been 21 minutes late, we would have been sat on the train to Edinburgh without our tickets. Some strange and affected people I know may say it would have been a blessing to miss the Bon Jovi concert, but I don’t see too much hope for them.

Funny how these things happen. I am not comparing it to death or stolen items, but it is amazing how these things happen. Coincidences just come around the corner when you are not expecting them and instances which may appear to be negatives can turn into positives. With virtually everything I do, or what happens to me, I try to find opportunities from them. It keeps me sane rather than dwelling on the consequences or what may have happened.

And the exact opposite is the same for me. I always try and keep grounded when great things happen. I sometimes get called out when I say something is ‘not bad’ rather than great. I like to keep things in perspective, and when I think something is great I certainly show it. I am the guy at Goodison Park who tries to keep people grounded when we are doing well, and tries to remain calm and steady when things are desperate. It is not that I do not have the highs and lows, I have plenty of them. Controlling my emotions and balancing them is key to how I deal with things and then I make my decisions.

I got lucky this morning. If the train was 18 minutes late, we would have been in trouble. There are some days when you hit every red light when you are in a rush. These things even themselves out, you’ll get the green lights some days, you just need to remember them when everything appears red.

The Blues and the Bees

Tuesday night was a pretty special evening for me as Brentford played Everton in the Carling Cup at Griffin Park. To most people, it sounds pretty unglamorous and it was on the whole, but special nonetheless. It was a slightly surreal evening as the team I have supported since 1985 were up against the Bees, where I was a Director on the Board for three years.

I flew back to the UK for the game, and a reasonably unpleasant dental appointment, and it was a fantastic evening. Sadly, the Toffeemen’s woes continue and they were beaten on penalties. It was another pretty poor performance in truth and while they were the better side, the Bees missed a penalty. David Moyes has a fair task on his hands to get this season turned around pretty swiftly. All pretty disappointing from that perspective, but on the flip-side, it was A the Carling Cup and B. there is no other team I would rather my boys be giant-killed by than the Bees. At this point, I should go on about the Cup being a Mickey Mouse competition and nobody being interested in it…..

The atmosphere was fantastic – understandably as this was a huge game for Brentford and Everton brought 2,000 of the 9,000 fans down for this one. In a stadium of just over 10,000, it was almost a sell out and it made for a close intimate atmosphere. Seeing what it meant to the fans and the directors was great. Having been on the board, I know just how important these kind of games are to a club the size of Brentford – every year we prayed that the team could get to the stages of the cup where the Premier League teams joined the competition and that we would draw them for the financial windfall that comes. Beating one of them is all the sweeter – even a diehard Evertonian can appreciate that.

Returning to Griffin Park certainly brought back plenty of memories. It was the first time in 16 months since I resigned from the board that I was going back – and needless to say, I received some glory hunter comments. How anybody can call an Everton fan a glory supporter is beyond me, but I take the point! It also allowed me to see some familiar faces and catch up with two old friends – and I’ll emphasise the old PW, I now know you read my blog!

People often ask me how it was being on the board of a football club. I often say it is far from being as glamorous as it sounds. I suspect being on the board of a top Premiership team has slightly more glamour about it, though I suspect Bill Kenwright and Sir Philip Carter were not thinking that last night. For me, my three years at the club were generally quite passive and I spent most of my BFC time observing protecting the interests of the person I was representing on the board rather than playing a hugely active role. Given I had little time outside of work and commuting, this was my main priority, but it was an incredible learning experience. One which I certainly would not have gone through had it been a Premier League club and one which I would not take back at all. From onions on the burgers to what happens on the pitch, I was exposed to everything. Of course, everybody is most interested in the football side of things, the team, the transfers – everybody playing the role of manager and offering their views on who we should buy, sell, start and drop.

When I joined the club, they were going through a pretty severe rough patch having sold several key players to balance books and replacing them with cheap alternatives. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t work. Things have improved in the last 18 months however since they have received investment. I also note quite a shift in perspective from the fans too – not just from last night, but on the message boards and forums I read. There is much more positivity around and less focus on wanting to shoot the directors. I was always pretty fireproof given that I was representing the main investor at the club, but I was always a little taken aback at some of the criticism some fellow Directors received. Having gotten to know them on a personal level, it was tough to understand – regardless of mistakes being made, there is not a bad person among the current crew with all of them having BFC at heart. I was delighted for them after the game, they deserve it for the time and money they put into the club – with never a hope of getting any of it back out.

Even after the nine hours sleep in the last two days, the toothache, two delayed flights and a miserable loss, I’ve enjoyed the journey and I am pleased for the Brentford boys. Hopefully the result for both teams will spark them in the league where both are in a similar situation and need to improve. The next game cannot come quick enough for Everton and me.