Pulling Another One

I’ve always been one for practical jokes and comedy. There is nothing better than an uncontrollable hearty laugh with tears rolling down your face. I think it is healthy for everybody to have a laugh as often as possible. I’m not a movie fan really – if I’m going to waste 90 minutes of my life, I’m going to watch 22 hairy blokes chase a ball around on a strip of grass, and I’m not referring to some cheeky RomCom or Carry On movie. However, every so often, usually when I am sat on an aeroplane, I love nothing more than an Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn movie or an episode of Just for Laughs to forget the world for a while and enjoy one of those mindless spells of comedy. The outside world doesn’t matter, my problems, my worries, my work is gone for a period of time, where I enjoy pure unadulterated stupidity.

I’ve always been a huge fan of practical jokes. That largely came from my granddad Paco in Mallorca who was notorious for it. It may have been a tap on the other shoulder, or a ‘look at that bird/you’ve just lost your ice-cream’ kind of moment. That rubbed off on to my dad, and on to me. There is a mixture of pure goofiness, with a slight touch of wit. I might be being a touch generous with the wit there. I’m generally a modest person, but when it comes to practical jokes, I rank some of them among my greatest accomplishments and I’m as proud of them as I am anything else.

My peak came at university, and I was reminded of some of them last summer at an awesome wedding in Rome. They sprung back to my mind recently around an old uni mate’s wedding in Madrid in October. He was often on the receiving end of many of my pranks at university. One of my all-time favourites came in our final year of university. Adrian had broken a bone in his wrist (this story ain’t going there!) and had been to the doctor’s for a check-up. Two days later he received a letter in the post saying there were some serious complications and he had to return immediately for an operation. I think the term amputation may even have been used. It lasted long enough until he eventually sussed out why I was curled up in a ball in tears of laughter. You need to know the recipient well enough that they are unlikely to throw a haymaker. I don’t think I’ve ever pulled a practical joke on somebody I didn’t know really well and could judge what their reaction would be. I’m struggling to understand how I was even invited to his wedding after that one.

You need to know how far to let the prank go before pulling it. I am terrible at keeping them in for the long term and usually break out in laughter anyhow, so this is rarely a problem. There was one where I hid in the bathroom closet waiting for Adrian to come in and to scare the living daylights out of him. I didn’t quite plan for the speed at which he could get his kit off for the shower. Awkward, but comical all round.

Another of my pranks came in the first year of university. The most pristine chap on our floor in the halls of residence left his room open one tragic day. Somehow a chicken breast found its way into his toilet cistern. This one took a good five days to develop but when it did, it proved to be an absolute belter. The gradual stench from his room was not pleasant and John was so proud about his appearance, smell, and general demeanour. This one was the patient prank, the slow burner which disguises any trace you had of planting it as he couldn’t recall anybody being in his room in the 2/3 days in which it started to offend him and others. Such practical jokes require some serious planning. You do need to understand and accept that if you got them with a cracker, you have to expect some kind of filthy retribution. If you give it, you gotta take it. I was on the receiving end of an online dating prank. I sussed it out eventually, but I admit it did take some time before I realised some smoking hot Russian blonde babe could not really be interested in some spotty, skinny, and skint 18-year-old student at Liverpool Uni.

I cannot think of any of my friends or family that I see on a regular basis that I do not share a regular laugh or smile with. The first thing that usually happens when I go back to Leeds and share a pint with some of the boys in my family, is the commencement of some serious piss taking. Whether you’ve done something good, messed up royally, or had grave misfortune or sadness, you’re going to get hammered at some point. It keeps me grounded, it lifts me up, it keeps me focused, it helps me get a grip on reality which could otherwise take a while. If you can’t laugh, the alternative ain’t so much fun.

I’m easing up on the practical jokes and there is certainly a time and a place for some jokes. I have not completely mastered that, but I’m (generally) learning the art of appropriateness. That said, sharing a funny story, a funny moment, a cheap joke or just a smile or light-hearted moment makes life that much more enjoyable and entertaining.