The Balance

A wise man once told me to always look after number one. He said you could and should not rely on others necessarily to help you out and in turn, you should make sure you look after yourself first, and others second.

A wise woman has shown me that it is not all about me. There's a bigger picture, and acts of selflessness are more rewarding than the acts of selfishness. The world is a better place when people think of others. The wise man also shows me that even if he says the opposite.

You may be right in thinking this blog should be renamed 'Mixed & Confused Random Writing'. The two principles contradict each other directly and these types of contradictions are the hardest ones to resolve and work out in your own head and your actions. There is no clear right and wrong. It is not a question of should I break into somebody's house or not. It is not a case of should I spend my last 50 quid on that shirt rather than pay my rent or feed my kids. There's no right or wrong with this one.

You'll see acts of selfishness and selflessness all the time. I often feel like it has become fashionable to hate rather than to love….or at least some people find it easier to hate than to love. You'll despise the selfishness and you will likely appreciate the selflessness, particularly if you're on the receiving end. It is easier to recognise the selfishness, that's for sure. Whether they are gestures for the greater good of mankind or putting a smile on a certain someone's face, generosity and kindness goes a long way.

That all said, the wise man is right. There are times, plenty of times, throughout our lives when we have to look after ourselves. It may sound sad, cruel and ruthless, but it is true. There are many occasions when if you don't look after yourself, nobody else will.

It is all about finding the right balance. It’s that balance between having fun and being responsible. It is that balance between being confident but not being arrogant. It is that balance between giving good advice, and taking your own advice. It is that balance between working hard and playing hard. It is that balance between being giving time to others and taking time for yourself. It is that balance between doing the things you want to do, and the things you have to do.

I could go on. There are a million feelings and issues to balance and weigh up every day of our lives. Read a fitness magazine and it will tell you the best way to lose weight is by shorter interval training. Turn the page and it will tell you long distance running is the best way. I keep turning the pages searching for the ‘eating burgers will enhance your stamina’ advice, but I’ve yet to find that one. Read medical reports and research that say eating a certain food can reduce the risk of some deadly disease. The next report will say that very same food can increase your cholesterol.

I’m not sure I have found the balance with some aspects. I aim for it in some areas, I avoid it in others, especially the ones I enjoy! I’m not into living by great extremes, and maintaining a degree of balance and consistency is important to me. There is no right or wrong to so many of the contradictions. I guess that is what makes life interesting. If everybody was balanced and consistent, we sure would live boring lives. It is ok to be selfish at times. It just needs balancing with a large dose of selflessness at other times. I’ll continue to pay attention to the wise man and the wise lady that have guided me this far.