Farewell

When I write a blog, it’s usually because I have random feelings and random thoughts. Tonight I have strong and sad feelings and strong and sad thoughts. My eyes are streaming as I type this, but if there’s one person who deserves a blog and a mention, it is Malcolm Patterson.

I met Mac almost six years ago. I started dating my wife six and a half years ago and I followed her to this amazing island of Prince Edward’s…if I am brutally honest I had never even heard of it prior to Hannah Jane. I worked for a consultancy company specialising in the betting industry. Meeting this special family and these special grandparents was tough enough as it was but I had major reservations about meeting the wife-to-be’s family as I undoubtedly had to explain my career path and gambling is hardly the easiest choice to explain…especially in North America. I went for the analysis and data in football point of view, and mentioned, if somewhat glossed over, the betting angle.

I rapidly learned that none of that really mattered. I wasn’t judged on what I did, I was being judged on who I was and am. I hope I didn’t disappoint. The reverse angle didn’t disappoint in the slightest. Malcolm and Nellie have always made me feel like their own….I cannot quite imagine what being one of their own actually feels like.

Malcolm passed away this evening, and all I can possibly explain or hint at is how sad I feel tonight. I am very much like my dad in this sense, and I take loss hard. Of all the aspects, characteristics, qualities and weaknesses that I get from my parents, this kind of emotion undoubtedly comes from my father. Dad takes things hard, and always has. That is far from saying my mum doesn’t….anybody who reads my blog knows exactly what I think of her. This particular side of me comes from my dad though. Most of the guys that will read this will no doubt want to rip me apart because of it, but you’ll know what it is about and it is one of the reasons why a. we are friends and b. you are reading this.

Two and a half years ago, Malcolm and Nellie came to Leeds for Christmas. HJ and I have a principle whereby one Xmas is spent in one country and one in the other, so we split time between both families. Mac and Nel came to Yorkshire at the grand old age of 84. I cannot quite describe what that meant to HJ and me. I had it in mind to propose to my girl, and their presence made it the perfect setting. After I gathered the courage to propose, we told our parents and then went into Malcolm and Nellie’s room. It was shortly before supper and they were fast asleep on the bed. We stirred them gently and broke the news, and their eyes lit up.

Fast forward a couple of years and tonight all I can picture is Mac and my girl rocking the dance floor in a Halifax bar. Their attendance at our wedding meant the absolute world to the pair of us. Just as the presence of my family from Yorkshire coming all the way to Nova Scotia did. Weddings are funny old days that bring out different emotions in different people. For HJ and I, we could not have wished for a better day than 4^th August, 2011, and that was in no small part due to the presence of Mac and Nel.

I have known Mac for six years. I cannot imagine how it would feel tonight having known him for 32 years…..or more….or less. I would not dream of downplaying any relationship that he had. What I can say is that knowing him for six years, six weeks, six days, six hours, six minutes…..you would quickly know this gem of a husband, this dad, this grandfather, this friend….and this grandfather-in-law.

My mum’s dad passed away when I was pretty young. I can recall the fifty pences and the boiled sweets that he used to give me when we visited. I can recall his large ears and him sitting in the armchair at Florence Mount. I wish I knew him better….and I wish I hadn’t inherited his ears. You can’t win ‘em all. My dad’s dad was Spanish, and I was older when he passed, but again, was never able to spend as much time as I would have liked with him as I saw him maybe once or twice a year if I was lucky. He had a sense of humour, much like my dad, and much like me. Small minds think alike, but we found it. I am blessed to have the family that I have, they are amazing. Mac was the perfect granddad, and I’m going to claim him, as I have done the last six years, as my grandfather. I can only wish to have had that kind of relationship, with that kind of gentleman, for my 32 years of existence.

Sat in the cottage a couple of weeks ago, the phone rang, and it was an organisation asking if Malcolm was still willing to volunteer his time to helping out those in need. He had put his name down some weeks earlier to help out. That was who he was, and what he did. If I was a betting man, I’ll say that there won’t be a better attended funeral in Montague, Charlottetown or PEI for years to come. You’ll be missed Mac, sorely missed and as much as I’m not a fan, I’ll raise a rye and ginger for you xo