Rest in Peace Gary Speed

When you’re a kid, there is inevitably a role model or hero that you look up to. They may sing, act, play sport, they may be your parents. Like so many young boys, mine were largely footballers, and being an Evertonian, I desperately tried to find a Toffeeman that I could imitate. Sadly, as the mid-eighties came to a close, I was left with the likes of Preki, Robert Warszycha and John Ebbrell to try and imitate and that just didn’t cut it for me.

My first real memories were largely based around the 1986 World Cup in Mexico. I was mesmerised by Diego Maradona and he stole the show for me even though I was hardly skilful….a boy can dream. There were some iconic figures for my beloved Everton as the nineties kicked in however. Duncan Ferguson was right up there for me and so many Everton fans. Aside from the big names players or the top goalscorers, fans often develop soft spots for home grown talent or players that are fans of the team themselves. Ultimately, you know that they will give their absolute all for the team and fight until the last whistle.

As I grew up and developed as a player, I still hadn’t honed those Maradona skills, but I was as committed as anybody. Along with Laurence Budd’s left-wing magic, I often scored a fair number of headed goals – not because I was particularly tall, but I was willing to put my head in places where others were not, and I worked on timing my jump. Duncan Ferguson was an Everton legend as he was 6 foot 4 and scored a number of headed goals for them. However, there was another player, another Evertonian, who I tried to imitate when playing myself, as I was short of 6 foot, like him, but he was a master at timing his leap to perfection.

When I was Junior Bobby, the only football I could watch live was Leeds United. My Uncle Ken would take me to games and I was just happy to be watching live football. I was mesmerised. I was around 11-12 years old when I watched my first game at Elland Road and I would wear my Everton shirt deep under 17 layers of clothes so none of the scary Leeds fans would spot it, but I knew deep down that I was not betraying my team. I was fortunate however to witness one of the best Leeds teams in history, and the Leeds midfield at that time was as good as any around at that period. There is just one other conventional four-man midfield that I have viewed that was as balanced as that Leeds quartet of Strachan, Batty, McAllister and Speed and that was the Valencia midfield of Mendieta, Gerard, Farinos, and Kily Gonzalez.

And it was the latter of the quartet that caught my eye as a player to try to imitate. Gary Speed was the player who was not quite 6 foot, but was superb in the air. He was the Evertonian. He was the guy who was perhaps not the most pleasing on the eye like Maradona, but clearly worked incredibly hard to master the skills that he did have. He was the left-footer with a decent right, which encouraged me to use my weak foot as much as possible and become more comfortable with it. He was the player who clearly looked after himself extremely well on and off the pitch that enabled him to have such a long playing career. He was the guy who was so well respected in the game, that transitioning to become a coach proved successful in such a short space of time.

When I woke up to my mum’s text last Saturday to hear that he had died, I had a lump in my throat. I had absolutely no idea of the reason – I just assumed it must have been some illness that had been hidden, an accident, or a sudden heart attack which has seemingly become more common among active players in recent years. I was pretty shocked when I learned that it was suicide, as it seems so many others have been, as there were clearly no indicators to those in football, and certainly not to the regular fan like myself.

I have not had the opportunity to read much in the last day or so about it, but I can only assume that there was some form of depression involved. The PFA statement saying that players would receive information on suffering from depression and their acknowledgment that it was an issue, suggested as much, and in truth it is surprising that it has taken this news for them to realise that. The numbers on divorces, alcohol and drug addictions among recently retired players is scary, and the void left by retirement for so many is something that requires attention from football authorities.

The news reminded me of an article I read a few weeks back from a television personality in Canada – Michael Landsberg. He is the presenter of a sports TV show called Off The Record – one of my favourites. It came following the death of a former Hockey player called Wade Belak. You can read it here - http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=375694. It is as thought-provoking a read as you will find, and I suspect the case of Gary Speed is probably something similar. Sad times. I can only hope that the likes of the PFA further acknowledge depression as a major issue and work hard to build awareness and provide the tools and support for the guys like Belak and Speed, who have been role models to so many.