Growing Pains

One of the things I look forward to the most, after my early season football enthusiasm has died down, (and trust me, it was shot down in flames on Saturday), is spending time with my niece and nephew. I probably see them on average about once a month, and it is amazing to see the difference in them each month. My niece is four and my nephew is going on seven months. Seeing how they grow physically is amazing. There are obvious signs such as a random tooth emerging in Max’s mouth, or Mia’s hair growing ridiculously long, but just seeing them change is amazing.

More so than the physical side, I love to see how they develop psychologically. Mia never fails to make me laugh with some random comment she comes out with and it always amazes me how she can be so savvy at such an age.

That and a conversation I had last weekend made me wonder what moments and experiences we have as children impact you as an adult. The common view is that children learn at a much faster rate than adults and can absorb more in their memories. I am sure that is related more to alcohol consumption personally, but that too is generally related to age.

When I was a child, there were two main incidents that stand out to me and reflect certain things now. The first one was when I was about four years old at my Auntie Francis’ house. Me and my sister were playing in the car park and as I ran around the side of a car, a pitbull flew around the side and hit me front on and sent me flying. It barked and snarled and little Bobby was flat on his back and petrified. It took a long while until I became comfortable with dogs, and even now when I see my lady so natural with them, I know I am not so at ease with them as others even if I am improving.

The second experience was part of the conversation last weekend. When I was eight years old, we went on a family holiday to Ibiza. Now, this was not clubbing Ibiza, and I was only seven, but maybe I just fancied myself as a lady’s man more at that stage than ever after. We met a lovely family and I took a shine to one of the daughters who was about 15. Anyhow, I never liked sunbathing and I never liked swimming or getting wet much – baths and washing were overrated in those days. So little Bobby used to sit in 25c temperatures by the pool, fully dressed – trainers, jeans, the lot. My dad thought it would be hilarious to pick me up and launch me into the water with my clothes and shoes on. I can still picture to this day being under the water for what felt like an eternity and gasping for the surface. Reality is, it was probably about 5 seconds if that, but for a kid who was not comfortable in water, could not swim and drank half of the pool, it seemed far longer. Add to that, little Bobby’s pride was notably damaged at being humiliated in front of this Kylie Minogue lookalike, it was not a highlight in my career. I can swim now and if you threw me in the middle of the Atlantic or Lake Geneva, I’d sure as hell give it my best shot of staying afloat and moving somewhere. It is far from my comfort zone however. Maybe it made me shy in front of ladies too.

So I always wonder what my niece and nephew take in their young lives that they will remember and what impact it will have on them when they grow up. When I took my nephew to the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley 16 months ago, seeing his enthusiasm and awe during that day will stay with me forever. I enjoyed that as much as my boys beating Man Utd that day….probably knowing that that is a moment he will remember for the rest of his life. Funnily enough, I probably wouldn’t switch those swimming pool and pitbull experiences for a Wembley day now. For sure the Wembley day is pretty darn cool, but I guess they all shape who we are. Ask my sister, the pitbull day is probably one of the best moments of her life, so the pain is probably worth it. I guess it is all about sharing them with folks we care about.